10 Things to Do After Getting Engaged

Getting engaged is one of those moments you'll remember forever. Before the Pinterest boards, venue tours, spreadsheets, and group texts begin, give yourselves a minute to actually enjoy it.

After working in the wedding and events industry for years, we've seen couples jump straight into planning before they've had a chance to slow down and think about what they actually want. So before you start booking anything, here are the first 10 things we recommend doing after getting engaged.

1. Take a day before you tell the internet

You don't have to post your engagement the second it happens. Take a day to celebrate just the two of you, call the people closest to you, and let the excitement sink in. Then when you're ready, share it with the world! You'll have plenty of time for the ring photos, the Instagram post, and answering “when's the wedding?” questions.

2. Talk about the guest list before the venue

This is one of the biggest things we tell couples to figure out early. Before you fall in love with a venue, talk honestly about who you want there. Are you picturing 50 of your favorite people, 150 guests, or a full room with everyone you know?

Your guest count affects almost everything else: your venue, budget, catering, rentals, and overall feel of the day. It's much easier to choose a venue that fits your guest list than to fall in love with a space and then realize half of your people won't fit.

3. Have a real conversation about your budget

This might not be the most exciting conversation, but it is one of the most important. Talk about what you're comfortable spending, who is contributing, and what you actually want your money to go toward.

Your wedding doesn't need to look like anyone else's. A clear budget gives you the freedom to spend intentionally instead of constantly feeling like you're trying to catch up with your Pinterest board.

4. Figure out what you want your wedding to feel like

Before choosing colors or making a mood board, ask yourselves a bigger question: How do we want our wedding to feel?

Maybe you want it to feel romantic and timeless. Maybe it's colorful, fun, and full of personality. Maybe you want a backyard dinner party feeling with your closest people. There is no right answer.

Once you know the feeling you're going for, the smaller decisions become so much easier.

5. Decide on a general date or season

You don't need to pick an exact date immediately. Start by deciding what season feels right and whether there are any dates or timeframes that are especially important to you.

Keep in mind that your preferred season can affect venue availability, pricing, florals, photography, and even the overall look of your wedding. Having a general timeframe will make the rest of your planning much easier.

6. Don't book the first vendor you talk to

It's easy to get excited and start booking everything as soon as you're engaged. But take a breath.

Do some research, talk to multiple vendors, look at full galleries and real weddings, and pay attention to how you feel when you communicate with them. Your vendors are going to be a huge part of your wedding experience, so you want people you genuinely trust and enjoy being around.

7. Start with the vendors that book up first

Not every vendor needs to be booked at the same time. Your venue, photographer, and planner or coordinator are usually some of the first vendors we recommend prioritizing, especially if you have a specific person or date in mind.

Once those bigger pieces are in place, the rest of the wedding starts to come together much more naturally.

8. Make a Pinterest board, but don't let Pinterest plan your wedding

Yes, make the board. Save the dress. Screenshot the flowers. Pin the tablescape.

But don't feel like you need to recreate someone else's wedding exactly. Use Pinterest to figure out what you're drawn to, then step away from it and make the ideas your own.

The best weddings aren't always the ones that perfectly follow a trend. They're the ones where you can tell exactly who the couple is.

9. Enjoy being engaged before you become wedding planners

This one is easy to forget.

You are allowed to have a season where your only job is being engaged. Go on a date. Celebrate with your families. Take pictures. Wear the ring. Talk about your future together without immediately turning the conversation into a seating chart.

Wedding planning can become all-consuming if you let it. Give yourselves permission to enjoy this part, too.

10. Remember that the wedding is about more than the wedding

At the end of all the decisions, deposits, timelines, and details, you're still getting married.

When you feel overwhelmed by whether the napkins are the right color or whether you should add one more centerpiece, zoom back out. Think about the people who will be standing beside you, the person you're marrying, and the life you're starting together.

That's the part you'll remember.

One last thing from us

There is no perfect way to start planning a wedding. You don't have to have everything figured out right away, and you definitely don't need to make every decision at once.

Start with the things that matter most to you two, take it one step at a time, and let the rest come together from there.

You only get to be engaged once. Enjoy it before you plan it.